No More Mr Nice Guy!

June 20, 2022

Expedition Whyda Provincetown Massachusetts September 2016

"Do in your heart what you feel is right for you'll be criticized anyway." ~Eleanor Roosevelt

If you are a nice person, you probably don't like to "make waves" or "upset the apple cart." You are probably nice because you wish the world were nicer. You probably feel that we would all enjoy this planet more if everyone learned the value of tenderness, caring and compassion.

The world does appear to be overrun by the darker side of human nature these days (corruption, greed, violence, dishonesty, etc); but it is NOT being saved by nice people, either.

Nice people of the world unite! Learn to speak your mind and express your grievances with greater force and conviction. Learn to support and believe in yourself.

Nice people have many good ideas, but those ideas have little impact because nice people usually don't support their ideas with strength and conviction. If nice people don't learn how to be assertive, then this world is in big trouble.

So, what's a nice person to do? Support yourself and your opinions. Take a risk. Accept yourself in every situation. Realize that mistakes are necessary for learning and growth. Allow yourself to make some.

If you're nice, you're probably a people pleaser. You probably shift your opinion momentarily, so as not to disagree with anyone. This is exhausting and unhealthy.

You are not helping anyone by being nice to them, if nice means being untrue. We all need a push from time to time. Indulging people in niceness doesn't always encourage their growth. Gracious, thoughtful, considerate understanding etc are not the same as nice.

Support your opinions. Refuse to back down in the face of disagreement and disapproval. You are not going to crumble. In fact, you may discover that others yield when they see that your are no longer a doormat.

Refuse to allow other people's opinions to be more important than your own opinion of yourself. Stop punishing yourself. Stop worrying about mistakes. Stop feeling guilty about your behavior.

Guilt and worry are a waste of time. They immobilize your assertion and creativity. They immobilize your effectiveness in the world. It is simply easier to feel these emotions than to do something. The best antidote to these emotions is action.

Being Mr. Nice Guy is not making the world a better place to live. Stand up for yourself, both inside and out. Believe in yourself at all times. You are doing the best you can. By supporting yourself and being more assertive, maybe the world will become a nicer place in which to live.

Soul of an Artist